I don't remember when exactly I became aware of your presence. I feel like I've known you forever though. I remember us sitting side by side at some MUN conference, co-presidenting. I had no idea what I was doing and you seemed clueless as well. When you stood up in front of 600 or so people to talk about absolute dung, and I stepped back, do you remember that? I think I liked your baseless courage. I know that sounds bad, but I don't mean it that way.
I also remember you making fun of me for pronouncing the L in Salmon. You made me repeat the word over and over again at a restaurant with a group of friends, and when I still didn't know what I did wrong, you told me. That was the first time I felt humiliated for a syntactical mistake. I think that's why I give you shit for making up words all the time.
I like you because you make an effort to be everything you want. I appreciate the consciousness in your exertion, I think. The assertiveness, the honesty in the things you say, the pronouncedness with which you approach everything. You also analyze things. Not too deeply, but everything. I see you as a light, shallow ocean (it makes more sense if you think past the words). Albeit its not my personal choice and I give you additional shit for everything I just mentioned, I enjoy our differences. You surprise me sometimes.
Sometimes I think I like you because you like me. And because you like me, you seem to want to understand me, and I guess that's what matters. You are one of the few people who really seek to get to know the dumb things I come up with. My dramatic thoughts and feelings, the panic attacks I have after I feel I've done stupid, stupid, things. I know to call you for consolation despite our distance. You remind me to be sane, you remind me to relax, and I need that.
Ending on one of your favorite quotes.
"Love is something which dies and when dead it rots and becomes soil for a new love. Then the dead love continues its secret life in the living one, and thus in reality there is no death in love."
-Par Lagerkvist, 'The Dwarf'
Guichanaso.
