Lack of response is a response. Lack of choice is a choice. Lack of reason is a reason.

What did I think about today? "Things to do, things to do." I write things down because seeing my tasks materialize before my eyes makes them less threatening. I've stopped that, after high school.

The past few weeks, I felt as if I were carrying a huge tripod with lightroom equipment on my shoulders. It was a simple enough task that I'd been given--to create an advertisement for the cafe--yet I put it off for weeks, letting it eat away my mind, rot in the corner of my thoughts, wonderful, lovely things. I felt terrible every time she asked if I was done with them. It invaded other spheres of my job at Java. It wasn't the same, asking her when I was getting my pay. She had something on me as well.

So today after hours of doing nothing and loitering about in my living room with a friend, I finally sat my butt down to a chair, got out my bamboo tablet. Finished it. Finished seven of them, actually! So she can pick and choose.

Times like these are when I like myself least.

Guichanaso.

아 예 지겹습니다. 아이고 귀찮습니다. 아무도 만나기 싫네요 네.

내가 아니고, 내가 속하지 않은 부류에 속한,  그리고 내가 모르는 사람들이 있다는 것을 알아야겠다. 다른 것을 아는 건, 내 것과 구분을 짓고, 비교 하므로써 더 잘 이해를 할 수 있게 해주겠지.