Dear
Guichanaso,
A disclaimer, before reading this piece: I don't mean to be pedantic. I'm only twenty-two. Still, I would hate for you to discount anything I say due to the "I know what you're thinking" tone that you inevitably will find throughout this letter--please understand this is only due to the fact that I have been where you are now and regret a lot of decisions I've made (plus, you will become me, so you shouldn't hate me too much). Further, consider something that you probably already know: you are a regretful, self-critical human. This means I have a lot to say. But still--have the strength to disregard anything you find irrelevant. Take every piece of advice (even from your future self!) with a grain of salt.
Know one thing--you don't have to listen to the people around you. Just because they happen to share your world doesn't mean they share
everything in your world--which is to show, they won't understand your values completely. Know that you shouldn't just let any voice inside your head. Screen what they say. People will tell you what to believe. They will tell you what to love. What to eat. What to study. What to think. What to say. What to find appealing. They will tell you anything at the slightest sign of uncertainty. And because you often seem uncertain, many people will try to come in and control the way you behave. Let them know that just because you're not
set somehow doesn't mean you don't have preferences.
And I know that--and by
that, I mean whomever's predominant voice that seems to govern your world right now--is hard to escape, but it is escapable. The barrier is an illusion. You will grow older and be thrown into a larger world. Your current world is temporary. You are, and will continue to be, a fluid being.
Once you go to college, all the high school teachers who dubbed you trouble will cease to matter. Once you enter the real world, whatever stigma or foreignness others associated with you will evaporate. You can be whomever you want to be. No one can tell you otherwise, because their ideals are different from yours. There will come a time when you are free to explore. You will realize things about yourself that you never dreamt was possible in high school. Do remember, simultaneously, that your experiences will shape your beliefs. Be careful in choosing what to experience.
Recognize your talents. Stop telling yourself that whatever you're good at, there must be tens of thousands out there who are just as good if not better. Build on others' encouragements. Believe them. When people tell you you're a good writer, or that you put nice colors together, trust it, and utilize it to become even better. A classmate once said he believed his strengths to be his limitations. While there is truth to that, also know there is cynicism. Be hopeful.
Be kind to your parents. They love you so much and wait for you to come home with a smile each day. When you frown, or conceal, they worry because they know. Communicate with them. Don't forget to tell them about the friends you made at school, the teachers who complimented you in literature class, the debate practices and new coaches, et cetera. Whatever that may seem a petty detail to you could make their day in an instant.
Be loyal to your friends. Know that there exists not just one group for you but hundreds to belong in, but still appreciate, and indulge in, the group that has chosen you to be one of its members. Be kind to your girlfriends and boyfriends; treat them with respect. Remember that however you regard them will come to you in return.
Take advantage of the opportunities you're given. If there is an opportunity for you to broaden your horizons, don't look back--take it. I know college applications are coming up. Here's something you most likely don't know yet: writing personal statements will be one of the most eye-opening experiences of your life. Take that time wisely, to think about yourself, ourself, where you come from, your family's values, your surroundings, the school you go to, and the schools you see yourself at. Realize that these decisions will alter the way you see the world. Don't let names faze you--you have the capacity to make the best of any given situation. Foster trust in your ability to adapt and mold.
Lastly, it's okay to be strange. Embrace it early on. I know high school is when you started to realize you were a little different from others, and a lot of people told you you should act more "proper"--but I'm telling you now--later, it will only become more apparent that you don't fit the model of a good child. Accept that your strangeness is not a phase. That it's fine. Learn to grow thicker skin. Remember that it's okay to dissent, and that there's actually quite little to be afraid of when veering from the norm. In fact, and a lot of books you will read in high school will tell you this: no one who doesn't veer from the norm has ever been the main character in a novel. Don't be an extra; be that main character.
Guichanaso.
