I was talking to a friend today. He is an old friend of mine, from back home. If I may use the word "home" loosely. We go way back, to tighten up the meaning. He knows of me and I know of him, to put things in recency. Friends. We started to talk about old friends and Seoul, we went on to talk about high school and college, we peaked when we talked about ourselves, then drifted apart when talking about the future. He told me he'd been "narrow." I thought, "you're still narrow." You don't know you.

Judgment is very intuitive. Sometimes, I can't clearly explain why I feel a certain way about someone, but in hopes of being understood by those I wish to persuade, I try to clarify. Make sense of things. For example, I hate when my roommate touches my lamp on Tuesday, but on Wednesday I offer that she eat whatever she wants out of the fridge I just restocked. Am I trying to neutralize? I can't always explain why I do the things I do. But are things always that lucid? I can't say. Intuition drives the choices I make; logic comes thereafter. It's almost as if to justify the choices I make. To suggest to the world, "Heeyyy so I may have seemed as if I didn't know what I was doing before, but I actually did, and I have reason a b and c to back it up."

You convinced yet?

Self-image is quite the mystery. "Perspective" is quite the contortionist. Do others know us better, or do we know ourselves better? And if the former, or the latter, is true. What can we make of it? What does that say about ourselves? And others? We're not islands, yeah. But if so, why are we made separate?

Yearning for connection, a whole.


Guichanaso.