I'm just super tired all the time, yet I'm restless, so I keep moving. My mind is restless yet my body is tired. My body is restless yet my mind is tired. Either way I am pulling myself in different directions at the same time and it makes me focused yet disjointed, but listening to Portishead helps because I like Portishead. At times like these I keep searching for the things I know I like. There are so many things I know I don't like that when the things I do like end up disappointing me, I feel like running away and giving the fuck up. But because I have no choice but to keep searching for that one solution I KNOW has worked each time. I'm also fucking drunk. And upset for no reason? I'd like to step outside and get some fresh air but I cannot for unspeakable reasons.

Its strange to think about things that upset me because that would also entail admitting that I am heavily affected by them. It's admitting that something you dislike is way under your skin. It kind of has the upper hand, you know, instead of you being able to control its effect on you. Not so fun.

But when you finally do admit it's kind of liberating too, I think.

Hey, I'm nonsensical!

Guichanaso.